Who's on CW?

VE1DX: Well Bob, I'm guess you're going to go on the DXpedition with the guys.
VE1YX: Look Paul, if you're organizing this operation, you must know all the guys.
VE1DX: I certainly do.
VE1YX: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know all the operators.
VE1DX: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these DXpeditioners now-a-days very peculiar names.
VE1YX: You mean funny names?
VE1DX: Strange names, pet names. Well, let's see, we have on the DXpedition, Who's on CW, What's on phone, I Don't Know is on RTTY . . .
VE1YX: That's what I want to find out.
VE1DX: I say Who's on CW, What's on phone, I Don't Know's on RTTY.
VE1YX: Are you the QSL manager?
VE1DX: Yes.
VE1YX: You gonna be the pilot station too?
VE1DX: Yes.
VE1YX: And you don't know the fellows' names.
VE1DX: Well I should.
VE1YX: Well then who's on CW?
VE1DX: Yes.
VE1YX: I mean the fellow's name.
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: The guy on CW.
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: The guy sending Morse code.
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: The guy with the key . . .
VE1DX: Who is on CW!
VE1YX: I'm asking you who's on CW.
VE1DX: That's the man's name.
VE1YX: That's who's name?
VE1DX: Yes.
VE1YX: Well go ahead and tell me.
VE1DX: That's it.
VE1YX: That's who?
VE1DX: Yes.


PAUSE

VE1YX: Look, you gotta CW man?
VE1DX: Certainly.
VE1YX: Who's sending CW?
VE1DX: That's right.
VE1YX: When you send the CW man's QSL cards to him every month, who gets them?
VE1DX: Every one of them.
VE1YX: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on CW.
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: The guy that gets . . .
VE1DX: That's it.
VE1YX: Who gets the QSL cards . . .
VE1DX: He does, every one of them. Sometimes his XYL comes down and picks them up.
VE1YX: Who's XYL?
VE1DX: Yes.


PAUSE

VE1DX: What's wrong with that?
VE1YX: All I wanna know is when the CW op fills out the card, how does he sign his name?
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: The guy.
VE1DX: Who.
VE1YX: How does he sign . . .
VE1DX: That's how he signs it.
VE1YX: Who?
VE1DX: Yes.


PAUSE

VE1YX: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on CW.
VE1DX: No. What is our phone operator.
VE1YX: I'm not asking you who's on phone.
VE1DX: Who's on CW.
VE1YX: One mode at a time!
VE1DX: Well, don't change the operators around.
VE1YX: I'm not changing nobody!
VE1DX: Take it easy, buddy.
VE1YX: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on CW?
VE1DX: That's right.
VE1YX: Ok.
VE1DX: Alright.


PAUSE

VE1YX: What's the guy's name on CW?
VE1DX: No. What is on phone.
VE1YX: I'm not asking you who's on phone.
VE1DX: Who's on CW.
VE1YX: I don't know.
VE1DX: He's on RTTY, we're not talking about him.
VE1YX: Now how did I get on RTTY?
VE1DX: Why you mentioned his name.
VE1YX: If I mentioned the RTTY man's name, who did I say is operating RTTY?
VE1DX: No. Who's is operating CW.
VE1YX: What's on CW?
VE1DX: What's on phone.
VE1YX: I don't know.
VE1DX: He's on RTTY.
VE1YX: There I go, back on RTTY again!


PAUSE

VE1YX: Would you just stay on RTTY and don't go off it.
VE1DX: Alright, what do you want to know?
VE1YX: Now who's operating RTTY?
VE1DX: Why do you insist on putting Who on RTTY?
VE1YX: What am I putting on RTTY?
VE1DX: No. What is on phone.
VE1YX: You don't want who on phone?
VE1DX: Who is on CW.
VE1YX: I don't know.
Together: RTTY!


PAUSE

VE1YX: Look, you gotta any satellite operators?
VE1DX: Sure.
VE1YX: The RS-12 guy's name?
VE1DX: Why.
VE1YX: I just thought I'd ask you.
VE1DX: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
VE1YX: Then tell me who's the RS-12 Satellite operator.
VE1DX: Who's operating CW.
VE1YX: Stay with the satellite guys!!! I want to know what's the guy's name on RS-12?
VE1DX: No, What is on phone.
VE1YX: I'm not asking you who's on phone.
VE1DX: Who's on CW!
VE1YX: I don't know.
Together: RTTY!


PAUSE

VE1YX: The RS-12 operator's name?
VE1DX: Why.
VE1YX: Because!
VE1DX: Oh, he's our PSK-31 op.


PAUSE

VE1YX: Look, You gotta 160 man on this DXpedition?
VE1DX: Sure.
VE1YX: The 160 guy's name?
VE1DX: Tomorrow.
VE1YX: You don't want to tell me today?
VE1DX: I'm telling you now.
VE1YX: Then go ahead.
VE1DX: Tomorrow!
VE1YX: What time?
VE1DX: What time what?
VE1YX: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's the 160 operator?
VE1DX: Now listen. Who is not on top band.
VE1YX: I'll break your arm if you say who's on CW!!! I want to know what's the 160 guy's name?
VE1DX: What's on phone.
VE1YX: I don't know.
Together: RTTY!


PAUSE

VE1YX: Gotta packet man?
VE1DX: Certainly.
VE1YX: The packet guy's name?
VE1DX: Today.
VE1YX: Today, and tomorrow's on 160.
VE1DX: Now you've got it.
VE1YX: All we got is a couple of days on the DXpedition.


PAUSE

VE1YX: You know I'm a packet operator too.
VE1DX: So they tell me.
VE1YX: I get behind the rig to do some fancy packet work, Tomorrow's on 160 and a Big Gun gets on the air. Now the Big Gun connects to me on packet. When he connects, me, being a good packet man, I ask him to call us on CW. So I tell him the 20-meter frequency where the CW operator is, and he calls who?
VE1DX: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
VE1YX: I don't even know what I'm talking about!


PAUSE

VE1DX: That's all you have to do.
VE1YX: Is to tell the guys to call us on CW.
VE1DX: Yes!
VE1YX: Now who's gonna answer them?
VE1DX: Naturally.


PAUSE

VE1YX: Look, if they call us on CW, somebody's gotta answer them. Now who does it?
VE1DX: Naturally.
VE1YX: Who?
VE1DX: Naturally.
VE1YX: Naturally?
VE1DX: Naturally.
VE1YX: So they QSY to 20 and call Naturally.
VE1DX: No they don't, they call Who.
VE1YX: Naturally.
VE1DX: That's different.
VE1YX: That's what I said.
VE1DX: You're not saying it . . .
VE1YX: I tell them to call Naturally.
VE1DX: You tell them to call Who.
VE1YX: Naturally.
VE1DX: That's it.
VE1YX: That's what I said!
VE1DX: You ask me.
VE1YX: I would tell them to call who?
VE1DX: Naturally.
VE1YX: Now you ask me.
VE1DX: You tell them to call Who?
VE1YX: Naturally.
VE1DX: That's it.
VE1YX: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I tell them to call who. Whoever it is busts their call and the guy calls on phone. Who picks up the call and tells What it's busted. What tells I Don't Know to listen for him on RTTY. I Don't Know gets the call right Tomorrow. He's in the log on all three modes. Another guy calls Because. Why? I don't know! He's on RTTY and I don't give a darn!
VE1DX: What?
VE1YX: I said I don't give a darn!
VE1DX: Oh, that's our Pactor man.


This story is in the public domain and may be reproduced in any format. - VE1DX

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Last updated on Thursday, 12 April 2007